Hello readers,
Marco here. This week, I thought I would share some of my feelings about what I do and where my passion comes from. I created this blog to reflect my ardor for helping youth which evolved out of a tumultuous upbringing of my own. And as a person of color and as a lifelong student, I try to provide perspective and information that promotes a culture of wellness and one that advocates for positive social change in our communities.
I’ve worked with many behaviorally challenged at-risk-youth, many of which have experienced unspeakable trauma. Each one of them inspired me through their willingness to adapt to a healthier life. And through their resiliency I could see the humanity behind the brutality of neglect and abuse. I viewed the youth not as burdens, but as muses. Their bouts of anger and raw emotion were evocative of the human condition, I understood it. I learned that every time a teen would lash out at me that my greatest strength was compassion. There was a reason why they struggled to feel safe and why trusting and forming healthy attachments did not come easily.
Every child that I worked with had their own behavioral challenges that could be explained by a history of trauma. And while there may have been a logical reasoning behind their poor behaviors, an explanation is not an excuse. It is always invaluable to teach accountability for one’s actions and to help youth understand themselves and their own behaviors better so they can address them themselves. This educative stance along with the necessary support of mental healthcare professionals doesn’t just benefit youth that have experienced trauma, it is a good way for all of us to live and for us to teach coming generations.
I’ve observed the growth that can take place while in care and voiced my admiration for the obstacles that they overcome by simply growing up. But that isn’t enough in my opinion. Youth deserve more than to age out and move on, they should feel hopeful about their futures and confident that they have everything necessary to obtain whatever success means to them once they age out. They should prioritize themselves and their growth even more in pursuance of whatever makes them happiest. It isn’t enough to just make it to 18, they have a life ahead of them that they must prepare for.
Make them feel cared for and safe, provide them with information and tools, truly listen when they speak, and youth will change their own lives.
For those with little inside perspective into group homes and foster care, it can be difficult to fathom the sheer number of youths in care, each unique and complex, with their own talents and interests, and all worthy of our compassion. When we see numbers describing youths in care, it is easiest to equate a child to a numerical value, to see them as statistics instead of the leaders they can be. But everyone that goes through foster care will inevitably grow to become members of our society. It is our duty to equip them with the tools that they will need and to empower them to make ethical and informed decisions to not only benefit themselves, but their communities.
For youth entering the system, their learned/adaptive behaviors will seem ‘normal’ to them because they have assisted them in surviving in their previous environments (school/home/social) and altering them is always a challenge. But youth most often watch the adults around them and model their behaviors and actions. That is why leading by example and exposing youth to healthy and productive ways of living benefits them so much.
It fills me with a sense of ire to think that youth I've worked could be incarcerated or homeless after transitioning out of care and that nothing was done to prevent it. It makes me look back on my own life, grateful for the support that I had. But it also reminds me how narrowly I escaped a similar outcome. And it motivates me to make it easier for the next group, to disrupt a chain of unsavory statistics disproportionately affecting people of color and impoverished communities.
